Thanks for the great article, Bridget! I’ve always had a habit of deferring ‘special moments‘ until I was ready for them and wondered if anyone else out there did the same. My wife thinks it is peculiar. Sometimes I would hold onto a card for an hour before opening it; same with small gifts. In these cases I typically already knew who the card or gift was from — so no life-altering loss in these instances. I just assumed it was some kind of a quirky control thing.
But when I broadened my reflection on the postponing habit, I realized I had in fact deferred some really major experiences that would have brought joy and memories not only for me but those I love: The trip to Paris I always promised my wife but put on hold because my work as a tech startup exec demanded my presence all summer, or the trip to Barcelona to see the gorgeous architecture of Gaudi in person. I had the money, but deluded myself into thinking my business teams would have some kind of emergency that only I could solve; deep down inside I was afraid to let go of the wheel and allow myself the luxury of a week or so away from the grueling pace and demands of work. There was always tomorrow when time for pleasure would be plentiful, or at least, that’s what I believed until that summer day when I was consumed with a wine cellar building project at home rather than going to the beach with the rest of the family, and out of the blue had a cerebral hemorrhage that cost me my career (and nearly my life). Now nearly 6 years later I realize I did in fact have the time back then, and my businesses would have been fine with out me there, but now post-stroke, walking for more than an hour on anything but a flat street is very difficult, and what I mostly have is time. All my life I’ve heard “You never know what tomorrow will bring” and we always assume whatever it is will be good, but that’s not assured, so now when I hear a friend say they don’t have the time to get away from work to take that trip they’ve dreamed about, I try in a friendly way to share my experience and hope the next thing they do is book a flight.
